One of the main comments I get from you guys is that you like how "real" I am. And that's great-- and a nice compliment. But lately I have been questioning how real to be on this blog especially. Because the main goal I have for this blogging thing is to be an encouragement to others. To point you guys to God and to inspire you to love your place in life-- whatever that place may be.
And yet, if I am really real, will I always do that? If I include the yucky stuff of life, will that inspire you to be the woman God is calling you to be? And yet, when I leave out the yucky stuff, am I deceiving you into thinking that you are the only one who struggles? Should I let you know that I have times when I struggle in my marriage? Should I confess that there are days that go by when I seriously think about no longer doing ministry... that I seriously doubt that I have what it takes on so many levels? Do I openly admit that I don't always like my children or want to be around them?
Because all of that is part of my life-- just not something I focus on here on the blog because I think it would depress you all! And yet, I have this suspicion that there are those of you who think that-- because I don't include it very much-- that I don't feel it. And then you think that you are the only one.
And so, I will continue to struggle with how real is too real? Because the last thing in the world I would want is to lead you down a path strewn with roses without pointing out the occasional thorn. The truth is, I struggle with lots of things. The truth is, we all do. I want to be honest about both parts of this life while staying true to my goal of being an encouragement. And yet, sometimes I think the best encouragement of all is to just know we aren't alone in our struggles. For me, I have the blogs that I read because they inspire and encourage me to do more, try harder, be better and then I have those that I read because they make me sigh with relief and laugh with delight in knowing that they have struggles just like mine. But mostly, these two are very separate-- it is rare to find the blog that does both. And yet, of course, I want to.
If you are struggling today with your calling, your marriage, your friendships or your motherhood then, friend, know you are not alone. We are in this together-- the good, the bad, and the ugly. While I may not focus on the negative very much here, that doesn't mean that I am exempt from it. It doesn't mean that I have some secret formula that results in a happy life all the time. Far from it.
And so, I ask you, how real is too real? How much do you want to know or not know? Do you need to believe that there are those of us who have "figured it out?" Or do you like it when we show our vulnerable, imperfect sides? I wish I could reach a happy medium but I can't quite get there. Just know I wrestle with it and strive to bring truth to this blog-- even when the truth doesn't always make you feel good. I am working to find the balance and that's all any of us can do.